The Universe Unfolds

Am I having fun yet?

2009-08-11T15:51:00.004-04:00

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever noticed what happens to you when you're asked to do something new? Do you get anxious or fearful? Does your heart start to beat just a little faster? Do you argue with yourself about whether or not you can do it and say yes anyway but with trepidation?

I suppose some of you simply look at the situaion as exciting and a wonderful challenge - which by the way will cause most of the same symptoms but are translated as excitement. :) I only wish...

I was asked to take on a new role - at least make a proposal for it - and although I felt it would be great fun once I was into it - the getting into it caused me to question my ability to do the job. Was I capable of learning the ins and outs of the job? Was the rate I was quoting reasonable? Am I worth it? There are professionals out there doing the same thing? Can I do as a good a job? Emotions, doubt, confusion, anxiety. Stop already!

One thing I have learned over the years is to step back from the emotion and being so subjective. I have learned that looking at a situation objectively - from a less than emotional perspective always gave me new insight, fresh ideas and a sense of calmness I otherwise wouldn't know. What are the facts? What are some options? Is it something I really want to do versus my ego saying yes simply because I was asked? Will it be fun? What steps would need to be taken to begin? So what? Could I learn using my own resources? Is there someone I can talk it through with that I trust? And - is beating myself up working for me!?!

Today I realized how many times I have felt fearful or anxious only to come to the realization that what appeared to be overwhelming and challenging was in fact relatively simple or quite learnable.

It's all about perspective! It's rarely an either/or situation. Reaching out to someone is a sign of resilience and a good thing. So - I'm going to play now and see how easy it really is going to be - and fun to boot! And let's see how the Universe Unfolds... :)

Who am I?

2009-04-02T14:09:00.015-04:00

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Buddha

If we only knew! It's like peeling an onion. We shed one layer and lo and behold isn't there another that shows itself and sometimes it just stinks!

Another AHA moment - and this time about our birth names. For instance, as a child:

'Patricia Ruth Barnes!!! or just 'Patricia!!! Oh-oh!!! I'm in trouble! Fear sets in. I've done something wrong - again. I'm not good enough.'

Has this happened to you? Thinking about it do you wonder what kind of imprint it might have left on your psyche, on who you are?

I now understand why my husbands' desire to call me 'Patricia' did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling whereas in my previous marriage I was called Pattie which I loved as it didn't have a history, particularly a negative one!

We unconsciously connect our name to our identity, who we are. When it is used to inject fear what does that do to our self esteem, sense of self? As children we don't have the capability or capacity to deferentiate what we own vs. what the parent owns so we invaribly take on a belief system that it's all about us.

The truth is our parents likely learned this behaviour from their parents who learned it from.....so it's in our DNA. So blame mode is useless - as it always is. We can only hope that the best of who we are was also reinforced. Meanwhile on our journey of life we find whatever works for us to help us to learn to be fully the love that we are.

It's huge when we become self aware at the conscious level. We can logically think about what is true and what is not. The work then becomes how to make the shift at the limbic or unconscious level. In my case I have some meditations that are directed specifically to making these shifts at my limbic (or subconscious) level - and the work continues.

Who am I? I am worthwhile! I am powerful. I am love and I am loved. I am Patricia Ruth Barnes Milland.

Baby Steps

2009-03-02T11:50:00.003-05:00

Baby steps
One at a time
Come to me
As if in a line

Sometimes I pay attention
Sometimes I don't
When I do, I win
When I don't, I don't

When I pay attention
My life feels full
I like who I am
I have that extra pull

I want to become more
No longer feel low
I become more aware
Of how far I can go

Being right doesn't serve me
Being open always does
To renewing my faith
In the end it's about love

It's not that I'm not good
I am learning I am
It's the insights that shift
Becoming more of I AM

It's funny - not really
How we just plugged along
One foot in front of the other
With the thought we are alone

When I pay attention
The journey's worthwhile
I have something to offer
That brings from within, a smile

To continue to pay attention
For the gifts that I receive
For when I ask for guidance
How quickly I perceive

The clarity comes swiftly
Most of the time
It's when I pay attention
I make the change mine

It's easy when we ask
For the help we so desire
It's in the letting go
Of having to stay in the fire

The fire can be Light
Versus the burning of my soul
It can heal me and show me
To consider a new goal

A goal to stay present
A goal to be love
A goal to forgive
And all of the above

Baby steps
One at a time
Come to me
As if in a line

Pat Milland
February 23, 2009
5 a.m.

Quantum Leap of Faith

2008-12-20T13:28:00.003-05:00

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking
new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

'Imagine all my possible selves - thinner, fitter, organized, successful, etc. - as already within me.'

This is an excerpt from something I was reading at a site I was looking at a couple of days ago.

NLP techniques include visualizations as effective tools for change. Another technique or variation on this is affirmations such as suggested by Louise L. Hay in her highly successful book, You Can Heal Your Life. What is important though, in my opinion, is that when we do visualizations such as these that we KNOW it to be true vs. thinking it so.

I can visualize as much as I like but if my inner voices say – "Ya, right!" I can assume that all the visualization in the world won't work. Now when I can convince my inner voice that this is and can be the truth through enough repetition that is another matter. In the convincing though, I suspect that I may be employing new behaviours that make 'it' come true, sometimes at an unconscious level.

For instance, if I stand in front of a mirror (or not) everyday and repeat to my self that I am thinner, I am likely to make better decisions when it comes to what I eat. I may decide to go for more walks or exercise more.

The same applies when I do daily visualizations. Both techniques then can be effective IF done daily and with conviction. It will be important to become aware of our inner voices when we hear ourselves say "Ya, right!" or anything similar.

Once we become aware of those voices (or parts of ourselves) we can deal with them. Ask them what their purpose is in maintaining the doubt. What is important though, is having the skill to ask from an 'other than conscious' mind - because otherwise we are simply speaking to our conscious minds including the thoughts and belief systems that have brought to where we are in the first place.

How to do this!

Sit quietly and breathe very deeply and very slowly. Once you are completely relaxed, ask that part of you who doubts or questions the possibility for change what their purpose is. Relax and allow whatever comes, come, in it's own time. Do not judge it. Listen to it. Based on what comes up ask more questions or the same one "What is your purpose?" Avoid any judgment as to whether or not the information that surfaces makes sense or is valid. You will be surprised where you end up.

These I call AHA moments that create quantum leaps of faith. Such fun!

Owning my voice!

2008-12-19T13:57:00.006-05:00

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. - Nelson Mandela

I was sharing with a dear friend the other day; someone I trust and care for. In our sharing I quoted a couple of people I have learned from and have impacted my life. She questioned why I do this - what makes them the expert? More importantly, why don't I simply state what I believe and honour that? This certainly gave me pause.

I realized I quote others because I felt that without crediting someone else I won't have credibility. "They" have stature and reputation that I in my mind, do not.

Hmm - so what does that say about me?

Perhaps it says I don't trust my own belief systems or perhaps myself. I didn't have faith that others might see my beliefs as having value. I wasn't walking the talk about owning my power.

In forming my beliefs I gather information and along with my current knowledge base, accept or reject the information that makes sense in my world. The information I accept must feel right and inspire me. Hands on experience, if available, will convince me, one way or the other. Life experiences, personal and sometimes those of others, are also measurements that are convincers for me.

With this new awareness of myself, I can now share what I believe with others, trusting myself, my gifts, my beliefs, my experiences. I can trust what I have to share has value, if not to all, certainly for some. I am good enough. I am credible. Whether or not others agree, is immaterial. I will listen to the opinions of others with an open mind. I will accept that what they believe works for them is as important as what I believe works for me.

So, folks - I have a voice and I own it! Now there, my dear, is an AHA!

Getting Unstuck

2008-10-29T04:01:00.013-04:00

"You are, at this moment, standing, right in the middle of your own acres of diamonds." - Earl Nightingale

As I mature, whatever that means, my wisdom and life lessons sometimes take me from teaching and coaching to remembering to take a look in the mirror with the question: How does this apply to me?

I was stuck. I lacked the focus and motivation to bring what I do to another level where I was achieving more fully the dreams I had for myself.

Then it came to me, looking in that mirror! All I've ever wanted to do is share my wisdom and teach what I have learned over the years. And that is in fact what I have been doing. So, in order to help myself get to that new level, why help others get unstuck!

I am known for helping others at a drop of a hat. I certainly have the training and desire to do what I love. It was the motivation to do what I do with more focus and ultimately make more money at it. It was getting past the talking about it stage, the great ideas stage and doing something concrete.

It came down to 'Just Do It' as Nike would tell you.

It's taking that first step. It wasn't about gathering yet more information or more training. It simply was making the decision to take that first step, any step. Sometimes getting out of our head is harder than doing something. Staying in our heads is safer somehow yet it is a strong avoidant technique we usually don't recognize. It certainly has been true for me.

Each one of us has a gift, a reason for being on this planet. What most of us fail to recognize is what it is. And we really don't have to look far to find it. What is it you are most comfortable doing? What do you give away just because? What comes easy to you? Given the opportunity, what would you do even if you didn't get paid? The answers may surprise you. They are also likely the course you might consider for your life. It will depend on what you believe - you - not someone else - that is most important.

So I ask you today - what do you want to do? If you aren't doing it, what stops you? What are you most afraid of? Can you face the fear? Walk through it? Do you have someone you can talk to, to help you, to guide you? If not, who do you trust? Ask them to help. There is nothing more that most people love more than being asked to help.

If you're not stuck, what motivates you to DO? How can you share that with others? Is it something you can share with them? Maybe simply encourage them?

I would love to hear from you. Tell me your story. What has worked for you? What gets in your way? What would you tell a friend to do if it was them? How do you take care of your Self?

Blessings~~~and more

2008-10-26T18:28:00.004-04:00

"Lost time is never found again." - Benjamin Franklin

I am so blessed (as most of us are) and each time I am reminded of it, it is a surprise.

Yesterday, late afternoon sitting at the kitchen table I look again at the backyard. It's been a strange day. Sunshine, pelting rain, more sunshine, light showers. But at this moment there are dark clouds shading the left side of the yard where the leaves are magnificient shades of yellow, red, orange and decreasing shades of green. Over the pond on the right, the sunshine squeezes through from the west. The lighting is so incredibly beautiful - as if a special spotlight is shining just for us to see the beauty it brings out on the brilliant red leaves of the sumac bush bending over the pond, and shades of orange, gold, rust and changing greens of the trees behind. And look, he says, look up - a brilliant rainbow! My heart swells with so much emotion. This is what joy is!

And it gets better. Looking through our glass front doors the light of the setting sun shines through. Stepping out into the wind and cool air we see again, light on the autumn leaves as it brings out the depth and beauty only that time of day can bring. The sky has the most unusual cloud formations I have rarely, if ever seen. This is Russ's favourite time of day on a day like this. And it's something we enjoyed and appreciated, in the moment, together. Another gift. It is another moment for giving thanks.

Every day has something wonderful to offer if we only take the time to notice. Usually all we need to do is get out of our heads and see the beauty that surrounds us. It's always there...

Giving - Just Because...

2008-10-24T11:49:00.006-04:00

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. Nelson Mandela

My dream has long been to help others. And I do. But I have had things backwards until a couple of days ago. I felt that if and when I make lots of money then I can better help others. The reality is it was all about the money rather than simply giving which costs nothing. I love to talk, to share. In doing so, I can help others in some way. Wonderful. But my presentations in recent years have been more about making a name for myself than simply for the giving. And guess what? What name?!

In reality, and for the sake of not completely beating myself up, I do share. I do help others every day I am in contact with people. And I get great joy and satisfaction from it. But of course, I haven't placed enough value on that. Nor have I brought that into the world in a more focused way. I could be doing all kinds of presentations simply for the sharing. So I've let go the idea of making a name for myself. If that happens, great. If not, so be it. Share my journey. Share my life lessons. Share my struggles and what I have learned, accomplished. And if it helps one individual I have fulfilled my soul's purpose. Because it isn't about the money. It's about finding myself and my Self. It's about finding my connection to the Universe, to Creator/God which in the end is also me. I've learned something new in this moment about abundance. I have so much of it and I've been keeping it to myself too much. It is time to share it all. Now.

Losing myself - Finding myself

2008-10-23T13:49:00.005-04:00

Freedom is choosing your responsibility. It's not having no responsibilities; it's choosing the ones you want.
- Toni Morrison

I've known for a long time now - or believed - that the only way I have really accomplished anything was based on survival - that without that I didn't have the motivation to do or accomplish what I need or want. The reality is I have achieved many wonderful and successful things in my life that had nothing to do with survival. I forgot to remember them because at some level I felt that it was OK to abdicate myself, my life. It was OK to simply put my life in someone else's hands and no longer be responsible for myself. Oh yes, I continued to learn and also grew spiritually, and the journey has been challenging to say the least and I would not change a minute of it. What I gave up though, was not for my highest good. I gave up being responsible for myself financially and more importantly on who I AM and can be. I thought - Great, I am safe now! He will keep me safe.

How wrong I was. Although I take great pride in knowing I am responsible for my feelings, my fears, my reality, what I didn't realize until the last few days is that in abdicating myself to my husband financially what I was really doing was not taking responsibility for my feeling safe within myself. It was his job to make me feel safe. Not!

Today I learned that survival is a state of mind. I am a proud survivor. But it is not the frame of mind I want to live in anymore - "look at me I am a survivor". My reality is I have many wonderful accomplishments that I let go of, overlooked and replaced with my fears. My reality is those accomplishments are who I am, of who I can be, of what I am more than capable of BEing. I want to get involved with something that draws on my passions again. I want to contribute to society for the right reasons, for giving for the sake of giving; sharing my story in the hopes it will help others know that they too can become more fully who they are.

So now I look at myself with fresh eyes and with love and commitment to fulfilling my soul's purpose - to help others help themselves. And to truly live my life with passion yet again ~~~

There are no accidents...

2008-09-23T10:09:00.003-04:00

My goal each day is to be in the moment and positive in thought and action. It is an ongoing process to be sure. The last few days proved to be a particular challenge for me. I've been in a less than great space and my actions just made me feel all the worse. I fortunately get pretty fed up with all that and get back on track fairly quickly. I do that by walking in the woods as well as meditating. It always works for me. Now and then other resources make themselves known that help me to center myself again.

This morning I noticed (nothing is by accident) my copy of Miracles by Stuart Wilde, a leader and 'teacher of teachers' in the Human Potential Movement. It's a very small but powerful book - only 38 pages. In it I was reminded of how I am responsible for manifesting what I want in this life, each moment and each day. To achieve my wants and desires it is important for me to continue to look at my belief systems, not to mention self talk, to remember to focus on what's important knowing I can have anything I set my heart on as long as I understand the metaphysics of Universal Law - part of which is known as the Law of Attraction. And basically it is as easy as making the choice...

The last paragraph in the book says it all. "Your position on the earth plane as a miracle-maker is inherent in the infinite power that lies within you. That limitless source lies there waiting for you to step up and collect your heritage and when you do the power will always be with you... and that is guaranteed. So be it."

Find your light within - and let it shine!